13 years ago I was sitting on the floor of the bookstore I worked, sifting through books that had just arrived. That was kind of my thing, reading. I loved, and still do, the way a story can take you away from everything. Or the way an inspirational author can push you to test your limits and beyond. It was on one of these days that I found a book that I have carried with me through everything. I've read it. Read it again. Gave it away. Bought it again. Ear marked it. Lost it. Bought it again. I never stop loving this book, and the reason is simple: it always centers me. It brings me back to where I know my soul is centered.
Lately I've been dealing with wedding stress, which is, at the core, family/friend/money stress. I'm sure you are thinking, "of course you are, who doesn't?" And you would be right, but I don't think anything prepares you for this. And by no means am I saying my crazy stress is worse than anyone else's crazy stress. But FOR THE LOVE, Shit goes crazy. People change. Weddings are not as easy as Style Me Pretty would have you think. And although I've been dealing with it for months and searching for my center in it, I haven't been able to locate it. So I did, what I always do - I went back to my book.
And these words are where I found my center:
Lately I've been dealing with wedding stress, which is, at the core, family/friend/money stress. I'm sure you are thinking, "of course you are, who doesn't?" And you would be right, but I don't think anything prepares you for this. And by no means am I saying my crazy stress is worse than anyone else's crazy stress. But FOR THE LOVE, Shit goes crazy. People change. Weddings are not as easy as Style Me Pretty would have you think. And although I've been dealing with it for months and searching for my center in it, I haven't been able to locate it. So I did, what I always do - I went back to my book.
And these words are where I found my center:
IT DOESN’T INTEREST ME WHERE OR WHAT OR WITH WHOM
YOU HAVE STUDIED.
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT SUSTAINS YOU
FROM THE INSIDE
WHEN ALL ELSE FALLS AWAY
I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU CAN BE ALONE
WITH YOURSELF
AND IF YOU TRULY LIKE THE COMPANY YOU KEEP
IN THE EMPTY MOMENTS.
And I've realized that what sustains me, what has always sustained me, has been my faith in knowing who I am and what I want in life. (I sort of want to insert a music clip of "Can't nobody hold me down, can't nobody take my pride...." - you get the picture). And that I do like the company I keep in the empty moments. And so I started thinking about how important it is that we are all stressed and worrying about just one thing - do you like the company you keep in the empty moments?
And I do. And I hope you do, too. But if you don't, or maybe you just haven't considered it, you should cultivate yourself so much that when all else falls you have enough to just keep on trekking. Make yourself laugh more than you make other people laugh. Pick yourself up off the floor before anyone even knows your down. In my case, plan the wedding you've dreamed and let everyone else work out their own shit. Cultivate you. People might call you selfish, but if you aren't looking out for you, then who will?
